
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4059514.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Reiner_Braun/Bertolt_Hoover, Armin_Arlert/Erwin_Smith,
      Sasha_Blouse/Connie_Springer, Mikasa_Ackerman/Annie_Leonhart, Grisha
      Yeager/Original_Character(s), Krista_Lenz_|_Historia_Reiss/Ymir, Marco
      Bott/Jean_Kirstein, Rico_Brzenska/Nanaba, Hitch_Dreyse_&_Marlo_Sand, Oluo
      Bozado/Petra_Ral
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Mikasa_Ackerman, Erwin_Smith,
      Armin_Arlert, Reiner_Bruan, Petra_Ral, Hange_Zoë, Bertolt_Hoover, Connie
      Springer, Sasha_Blouse, Ymir, Oluo_Bozado, Gunther_Schultz, Krista_Lenz_|
      Historia_Reiss, Carla_Yeager, Annie_Leonhart, Jean_Kirstein, Eld_Jinn,
      Marco_Bott, Grisha_Yeager, Maria_Yeager, Nicholas_Lobov, Mike_Zacharias,
      Nanaba_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Moblit_Berner, Rod_Reiss, Hitch_Dreyse,
      Marlo_Sand, Balto_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Ilse_Langnar, Rico_Brzenska
  Additional Tags:
      Spies_&_Secret_Agents, Orphans, Orphanage, Action, Humor, Fluff, Some
      angst, Rivals, Anal_Sex, Blowjobs, Lingerie, Levi/Eren_Yeager-centric,
      Pastel_Armin_Arlert, Cliffhangers, Bottom_Eren_Yeager, Top_Levi, Non-
      Binary_Hange_Zoë, Gadgets, How_Do_I_Tag, more_tags_to_come, Sex_Toys
      Under_Clothing, Psychotropic_Drugs, Teasing, Fingerfucking, Finger
      Sucking, Sex_Toys, Public_Sex, Grisha_Yeager's_Bad_Parenting, Step-
      parents, Asexual_Hange_Zoë, Hella_gay_Marco_Bodt, Loss_of_Virginity,
      Strippers_&_Strip_Clubs, Fake_stripper_eren_reiner_and_christa, Daddy
      Issues, Carla_is_not_Eren's_mom, Rough_Oral_Sex, Rape/Non-con_Elements,
      Non-Consensual_Oral_Sex, Stripping, Nerd_Armin_Arlert, Nerd_Bertolt
      Hoover, Eren_Jean_Reiner_and_Ymir_smoke, Underage_Smoking, Underage
      Drinking, Oblivious_Eren_Yeager, Genderfluid_Armin_Arlert, Protective
      Reiner_and_Mikasa, Foreign_Language, Dork_Jean_Kirstein, Pervert_Erwin
      Smith, sort_of, BAMF_Dogs, Master/Pet, Kinky, Action_&_Romance, Drunk
      Blow_Jobs, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-06-02 Chapters: 1/? Words: 1530
****** Are you shitting me? ******
by Ackerman_loving
Summary
     When Speacial agent, Levi Ackerman's good friend, Carla, asks if he
     could babysit some 17-teen year olds while she goes on a mini
     vacation. Levi agrees, chaos is bound to happen.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
Levi was pissed, he was running late for work. This barley happened to Levi. He
would usually wake up at 6:00, get changed into his classic businessman suit,
grab a cup of black tea and some fruit, and get in his white mercedes benz.
Today was not his usual routine, his alarm clock died in the middle of the
night, so now he's getting dressed at 6:20. 'Fuck my life!' Levi thought while
finishing up his outfit by putting on his gray blazer. He quickly ran into his
kitchen and grabbed a tea bag from his cub-bard and put in his 'Man purse' as
his friend and coworker, Hange Zoe, says. Levi than ran out of his apartment
door and ran down the hallway. Levi kept on muttering curses under his breath
down hallway.
 
He quickly put a break on his running when he noticed the elevator. Levi
quickly pressed the down bottom, while taping his foot on the black hardwood
floors. The doors opened to reveal a Mom and a Dad with two little girls. Once
Levi got in he looked down at his shoes to avoid any social communication about
the weather and shit. Levi tended to avoided people and useless conversations
at a cost. I mean would you like to talk to people who you will only know for a
minute when your a 34 year-old, tea addicted, 5'3 man who has a resting bitch
face? The answer should always be no. Of course his attempt at at keeping to
himself didn't 't work out, when one of the little girls started tugging on his
pants.
 
Levi looked over and to his right leg and saw a little girl grab at his pants
for attention. 'Her hands aren't cleaned' Levi thought as he noticed remains of
syrup, most likely from break feast, on her hands. "Mister!! Hey, Mister!!"
Levi tried to keep calm, but when the girl's supposed mother came to his rescue
he couldn't help but to thank the creator of Windex. When the mother was about
to open her mouth to apologize, Levi heard a familiar sing. The elevator opened
up to reveal a lobby filled with a fair amount of people scattered around the
lobby. Levi ditched the woman and sprinted over to the doors that were the
entry of his apartment complex. Once he got outside he took a familiar route to
the reserved parking spaces for the residence that live there. Once Levi got
over to the drivers door if his Benz he unlocked it an hoped in.
He grabbed his keys and quickly started the ignition. Once the car started the
music Levi was listening to tarted play again. Levi started humming to the
familiar tune of 'Set Fire To The Rain' by Adele. Let's just say that Levi was
a huge fan, but if his co-workers/friends knew that he listened to Adele every
single day on his way to work he would be mortified . He spent the rest of his
ride to work in Adele music and the A/C hitting his face. Once he got to the
familiar building he works at he Parallel parked in front of the building. Once
he got out of his car, he grabbed his 'man purse' from the passengers seat. He
was walking up to the glass double doors, when he was stopped by someone. Their
blonde hair was pulled into a high pony-tail, and their goatee subtle, yet
noticeable. "Eld is there something you need?" Levi asked with an impatient
look on his pale face. Eld was an employee who worked at the same place Levi
worked, Wings Of Freedom Inc., who actually worked under Levi. Eld was quick to
respond to his boss, like usual," Mr.Smith would like you to go to his office,
sir." 'Of course eyebrows would want to talk to me the second I got to my
shitty job.' Levi tsked out loud and told Eld that he would meet Mr.Smith in
his office. Once Eld started walking away, Levi made his way into the sparkling
lobby filled with black sofas with white cushions. Everything smelled like
windex with a hint of ginger, thanks to Levi's cleaning habits. He made his way
to the front desk where he quickly gave the receptionist his I.D. She gave him
a nod and Levi headed down the hall. Levi kept walking until he gave his legs a
swift turn to the left where he was met with dark cherry wood double doors.
Once he pushed the door open he was met with his two best friends laughing
while drinking their Earl Grey tea. "Oi! Cut your shitty laughing you two, it's
giving me a headache!" Levi groaned. The next thing he knew it he was met with
a high pitched squeal coming from a brunette with a strange pair of glasses.
The said person suddenly put their tea down on the light cherry wood desk. Levi
was then enveloped in a bone crushing hug from the crazy freak, Hange Zoe. His
boss/best friend, Erwin Smith just chuckled in amusement. Levi looked at Hange
in disgust. They smelled cooper and oil. Levi shoved them away and took out his
cologne from his coat pocket and sprayed Hange until they were coughing from
the fumes. "Wow! Mr.Grumpy Pants sure has a bad case of asshole today, right
Erwin?" They complained while turning to Erwin. Erwin simply chuckled and
nodded his head in agreement. Levi couldn't help, but roll his eyes at Hange's
teasing. Erwin went over to his coffee maker and put in Levi's usual Black Tea.
Once they all got settled down around Erwin's desk drinking their tea, Levi
confronted Erwin about the reason he told Eld to send him down here. Erwin set
down his tea slowly and brought his hands to his mouth. Hange and Levi knew
this position all to well. This was the position Erwin used when he was about
to lay a shit bomb on them. "Are you two familiar with name, Nicholas Lobov?"
They both gasped. Of course they knew who Nicholas Lobov was. Only six years
ago he was trying to get Erwin's head on a sliver plater. "He's alive, we
failed to kill him." Levi couldn't help but let out a long string of curses
from his mouth. You see, Levi didn't work as a doctor, lawyer, or a police
office. No, he worked as a spy. Yep, a spy. The Wings of Freedom is a secret
spy agency that was founded by Erwin's father. Dealing with crimes that the
police don't know about or don't care about. Only about thirty people work here
and the processes to get a job here was not easy. The current boss of TWoF (The
Wings of Freedom), in this case Erwin, scouts out people that have worked in
this sort of job like the military, police force, or FBI. Of course some people
here weren't found through those sources. Some people here were once criminals,
thugs, or even hitman. Levi was one of those people, but that's a story for
another time. There were also three divisions in the TWoF.
 
The first was the Recon Corps, they helped come up with different gadgets and
medicine/drugs.
The second was the Survey Corps, they dealt with crimes and undercover work.
The last was the Scouting Legion, they scouted the streets, undercover, for
suspicious behavior and dealt with gathering information for Erwin.
There was also the special operation squad, also known as Levi's squad. The
squad was an elite team in the Survey Corps devision. Hand picked by Levi
himself the squad consisted of Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Gunther Schultz, and Eld
Jinn. Those are the people who deal with the more extreme cases.
Hange was the head of the Recon Corps division, but her skill and brains were
high enough, that she does everything someone here can do. The same applies to
Erwin, even though he is the boss he's still required to take part in the work
his employes do.
 
"Well as you know, a couple years back we had you two and Petra Ral went to go
undercover to stop his human trafficking show. We also had you assassinate him
and free the victims." He took a moment to sigh and run a hand through his
blonde locks. "To cut to the chase, he faked his death when you guys drugged
him." The look on Hange's and Levi's faces screamed dumbfounded. Hange then
shook their head side to side and abruptly stood up. Levi and Erwin both knew
Hange was pissed. When their experiments failed or their gadgets, they got
pissed. Super pissed. "What?! That's impossible!! I-Ugh-We've used it before,
so why now?!" Erwin simply shrugged his shoulders. He then turned to Levi,
letting Hange go on their little rant. "Levi, Rico has gained information about
his whereabouts and his next targets through the hotel he's currently staying
at. I want you to stop the human trafficking show, Rico presumes he's going to
have." Levi could only tsked on the outside, while groaning in laziness in the
inside.
End Notes
     SO.......How does everyone like it? I know it's pretty bad, but I
     took some time off of 'Take a Breath' to vamp up my writing skills
     because...... well..... they're shit. Anyhow, if anybody sees grammar
     mistakes I would like for you to tell me. And yes I will update every
     week unlike, Take a Breath. Have a fab day! :3
     (P.S, I know this chapter was extremely fast paced, the other
     chapters will be much slower, better and longer.)
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